With apologies to Jane Austen: It is a truth universally
acknowledged that teachers get lesson plan ideas from some strange places. (Can
you discern I am cleaning out files??)
Years ago, I was helping a friend prepare her two pre-schoolers
for the cul-de-sac’s block party when I got the inspiration for one of my most
popular lessons in Public Speaking. Sherri’s 5-year-old, Cassy, twirled around
the living room in her Cinderella costume while her mom and I struggled to get
4-year-old Sean into the cowboy outfit he had chosen but now decided would not
do as he had changed his mind in favor Batman. The doorbell’s chime interrupted
the twirling and the struggling. Cassy danced to answer it and
returned with Joyce, Sherri’s 17-year-old niece who was going to shepherd the
kids around the neighborhood. Joyce was dressed as a diva: bejeweled and
bedazzled in mauve sateen capris topped by something gauzy and wispy and shod
in 4 inch fuchsia heels. Cassy was in immediate shoe-lust, complaining that her
plastic “glass slippers” were “stupid and dumb” and not as cool as Joyce’s
shoes. Sherri’s eyes rolled and I hunkered down for a second front of
struggling. Joyce squatted down to Cassy’s level, looked her in the eyes and
declared, “Cassy, my shoes might be cool, but I’m just a diva. You are a Disney
Princess. You are Cinderella. Besides which, I’ll bet I have my
shoes off before tonight’s over and you’ll still be dancing in yours.” Cassy
grinned and twirled away.
Driving home that night, I thought about what Joyce had said,
and I wondered how often kids heard older people give them advice that they
themselves never followed. I wondered if Cassy ever noticed that Joyce never
did remove her spiked heels though she walked around and danced until the party
ended.
The next school day, I shared the anecdote with my Public
Speaking students and asked if they had examples from their lives of Joyce’s
“Don’t do what I do, do what I say” advice to Cassy. A forest of hands went up
immediately. I did not have enough time remaining in the class period for
everyone to share their story. Every student in the class wanted to tell at
least one instance of what Jeremy said his Dad called “The Adult Prerogative.”
Listening to the kids share their stories while watching the nodding heads of
those not yet speaking, I had a lesson epiphany.
When the class convened the next day, I introduced the new
speech topic: “If you could have your parents obey one rule they make you obey,
what would it be?” The kids applauded. Questions arose: “Do we have to limit it
to one?” (Yes.) “Can it involve siblings?” (Yes.) “Can it
be about a friend?” (Yes, if you are also involved.) “Is there a time limit on
how long I can talk?” (Yes, 3 minutes.) “May I have an extension?
I’m really going to need longer than three minutes.” (Sorry, no.) Enthusiasm
was rampant. For the first time all year, I had 100% of the required pre-speech
outlines completed on time.
As the actual speeches began, I noticed an increased level of
attention and a similar rise in politeness. I had to tell no one to put up
other work or to quiet down. This was a subject they all wanted to talk about.
There were no surprises. I heard what I had anticipated as the kids wanted
parents to quit smoking, quit drinking, be on time, keep promises and do
housework.
In the 16 years since those first speeches were delivered, a few
have remained with me as memorable. Seth wanted his dad to have a “work night”
bedtime that was the same as his school night one - 10 PM. His arguments were
that his father was older, needed more sleep and had to get up even earlier in
the mornings than he did. Sheryl thought that her mom should have computer
privileges revoked every time she was late picking her up from practice just as
hers were revoked whenever she was late getting chores done. (She argued
picking her up was one of her mom’s chores.) Randell believed his dad should
have to let him know when he was going to be late because, “I worry about him
as much as he worries about me.” Chelly wanted to “preview” her mom’s dates
just like she did to her. Larry considered it only fair that,”If I have to be
nice to Mom’s new husband, then my Dad should have to be nice to him too.”
Wendy argued that since she was not allowed to watch tv or talk on the phone
until her homework was done that her mom who was going to college at night
should have to follow the same rules. Felicia believed that her father’s rules
about what constituted suitable clothing for her for school ought to apply to
his new girlfriend’s attire for work. My favorite was Dan who thought that if
he was not allowed to listen to music while driving because “it was
distracting,” then his mom should not be allowed to listen to her talk radio
station because, “she gets so mad that she just screams at the speakers and
pounds the steering wheel.”
The speech never lost its fan base. Students looked forward to
it – a truth I realized the last Fall I taught when Oscar declared during the
first week of class, “Ms. Mayer, I can’t wait for the parents’ rules speech. My
brother gave me a copy of his from 10 years ago and most of it is still true.
My parents have not learned much since then.”
I wonder if back in the day, Oog turned to Moog and scolded,
”No, dearest, you cannot have a pteranodon as a pet,” while she
petted her brachiosaurus.
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